The lovely folks at Moniker are marketing one of the dumbest fucking ideas I’ve heard since the Hollywood studios thought it would be a good idea for me to actually smell farts in a movie theater as they happen on screen.
Go fucking donate $179.99 to a good AIDS charity and not dot HIV
These lovely and caring do-gooders at Moniker are selling domains that end in .hiv. This thinly veiled not-for-profit rip off has the slogan of “putting an end to AIDS, one click at a time.” I thought that was the job of a 25 cent rubber, not a $179.99 per year domain to line the pockets of a corporation. $179.99 a year?! What a fucking steal! It’s actually marked down from $249 a year and if you wait until after October, it goes back up! Hurry and sign this old faggot up before I miss out on the deal!
So apparently you purchase your .hiv domain and the money it costs “helps fill a funding pool.” Then mysteriously, like an 82 year old woman dying in the middle of throat surgery, “click by click, the visitors of a .hiv website release this money to support access to HIV treatment for those in need, making every visit a good deed!” It’s magic!
How about this? Go fucking donate $179.99 to a good AIDS charity. And not that fucking AIDS Healthcare Foundation run by that sonofabitch, money grubbing, AIDS-preventative and PREP denying crackpot, Michael Weinstein. In fact this sounds like something he’d have his dirty, puffy fingers in to line his own pockets. I bet he’s losing sleep over the fact that he didn’t think of it first. He could have fucking made millions off of this if only his reptilian little brain would have thought of it.
But I digress. I get horny just thinking of going to my favorite porn site and typing in www.FaggotsFuckingCock.hiv, then watching everyone fucking bareback and eating cum like it’s the last batch they’ll ever see before they get AIDS and die. Nothing on the planet makes me harder than typing in .hiv. I imagine it’s almost as good as a woman talking about how cute babies are to her one night stand bar pickup right before he sticks it to her. How about buying groceries at Ralphs.hiv? Or buying my new insulin needles at Needles.hiv? I wonder what the fucking pitch meeting on this was like before they settled on .hiv:
“Sarah. Let’s hear your ideas.”
“Well, Sir. How about .hepc, .clap, .cancer, .hiv, .rickets, .scurvy….”
“Wait back it up!”
“.rickets?”
“No, no. Right before that. What was it again?”
“.hiv”
“Yep. That’s a winner! Good job, Sarah! You’ll get 10% of each domain purchase. Now lets go get some tacos!”
Fuck these guys and their new shitty idea. The way to get people to donate isn’t by way of grossing them out when buying everyday products or by zipping them back to a time when all their fucking friends with lesions were dying all around them. Every other company on the planet pledges their own money or a percentage of money from purchases. They don’t increase their prices by 2,500%, which is exactly what .HIV did if you consider the non-deal price of $249 per year. A normal .com, .net, .edu, .you-name-it costs $9.99 per year. Yep. That’s a fucking increase of 2,500% – absolutely passing any possible donation costs onto the consumer while being able to break their own arms patting themselves on the back and touting their good deeds.
Moniker can shove .hiv up their butts sideways without a condom or lube. If they had a fucking modicum of taste, they’d donate their own goddamned money to a cause or two, or set up their own charity to donate a percentage of the regular $9.99 purchases to said causes. But that’s just my opinion and I guess no one fucking asked for it anyway.
Fucking Assholes.
