Here’s another installment of ‘Cum Dump Confessions’. This time the non-award winning porn director, Koloff, recounts his raunchy night of debauchery at a seedy Los Angeles bath house. If he filmed this, he’d probably be arrested. We also somehow finagled the Lamda award-winning gay erotic cartoonist, Jon Macy, to illustrate some of our confessions. His work is amazing and we’re honored that such a talented force would hook his wagon to this sagging dog and pony show! Enjoy the story and let us know what you think.
I was returning the glasses of a fuck I’d had two nights before. The asshole was supposed to be a one night stand and here I was with him again because he was so blind he couldn’t find his fucking glasses on the way out.
So as I met him for a couple of cordial drinks, he brought up some of the other gay assholes downtown. A few I’ve blown, a few I’ve fucked, a few I wish I could. He brought up the time a few years ago we’d gone to the bath house with one of the supposed “A Gays” who now ignores us. (Ok…the blind fucker wasn’t exactly a one night stand but based on the consistency that we fuck he’s a one night stand every time.) As I brought up the fact that when someone cums in your mouth, they should say hi every time they meet you, it dawned on me I needed the bath house again.
I had one more vodka, bought him two more Pabst beers and paid my tab. I went home and ran into my partner of 15 years. We said hello and caught up on a few necessary household things like the fact that the electric bill is a bit late and that the dog had gone out to pee. He was watching his crappy shows on Netflix. I grabbed a bottle of poppers, popped a half an imported Indian Viagra and called an Uber. I waved goodnight to him and the dog and went on my way.
I pulled up to the bath house and there was a lanky blonde dude going in. I didn’t have a chance with that one and I knew it. I paid my $21, got my towel and told them I didn’t need parking. They buzzed me in and I was on my way.
The smell of chlorine and bleach hit me right away. It made my crotch twitch a bit. That’s the smell of cock at the bath house. I couldn’t get to my locker quick enough. I peeled off my clothes and threw them in the locker. I should have worn flip flops but didn’t. Oh well. My feet are the least of my problems with the crap I’m probably gonna catch tonight.
I rambled around for a few minutes in my towel. A few guys made eye contact, another several rolled their eyes and threw up their noses. It was black and Latino night. I didn’t know. I didn’t care but I wasn’t what anyone was looking for at all. Oh well. Press on.
I go to the basement and get in a booth. I lock the door. Nothing happens. I hang out another minute, good sir. Still nothing. I gather my towel, pull my poppers close, and head out again. There’s a guy in the hallway watching really shitty porn with a massive cock. He pushes two guys away so he’s intimidating but receptive to my drunken advances. I drop to my knees, take a hit from my trusty bottle and get to work sucking his cock. He gets rock hard, moans, throws his head back and then abruptly pulls away as he grabs his towel and has the best orgasm of his life into it. What the fuck? I did the work. I want my fucking reward. He walks away leaving me on my knees. Three other guys approach with their cocks out looking like sun dials at 11 AM. I politely get up and walk away.
I find another booth and enter. I forget to lock it so a passable guy enters and opens his towel. He has the biggest mushroom tipped cock I’ve ever seen. If I’d have cleaned my ass I’d want it pumping me but alas, I didn’t. I open my mouth wide and he works my jaw hard. His big mushroom tip flips in and out of my mouth, past my lips and down my throat. I’m really into it and after about what seems like 45 minutes, he’s about to cum. He throws his head back, he moans, he stiffens. He abruptly gathers his towel and runs away. What the fuck? I’m two for two with guys who need to save their loads.
I turn to the glory hole right in front of my face. There’s a guy in the shadows. He has a deformed cock. I don’t care. I whisper through the glory hole: “Please cum in my mouth.” I reach out and barely touch him. He does as he’s told and blasts a load in my mouth. “Thank you,” he says, as he gathers his towel and leaves quickly.
I’m onto the next. I find a used condom, loaded to the brim with cum. I take a sniff and it’s fresh. I lean my head back and let the freshly used rubber drain into my mouth. It’s delicious. It runs past my lips and down the hatch. Who’s ass has it been in? Who dumped a load inside? I don’t care. It’s great.
I’ve rambled around now for awhile with guys not wanting to give up their loads. I run into an old friend who blows me briefly then politely walks away. I’m too drunk to care. I step into one last stall. There’s a guy on the other side of the glory hole who just wants to service me. He gets me close. Now I’m the one who wants to save my load. I whisper through the hole that I wanna suck his cock. He obliges. It’s beautiful. It’s gigantic. It’s pristine. He gets hard in my mouth as he uses my throat like a fuck toy in his sheets. Every time he’s about to cum, he pulls away. God fucking damnit. Another cum saver on my hands.
He leans down and puts his beautiful full lips through the glory hole. I kiss him through the hole. I’ve found my soulmate. We make out until he puts his fingers through the little oblong opening. I suck his digits until he returns the favor. His slight hands go down my throat. I’m throbbing hard now and wanting to blow. I take another hit of poppers and as I reach down to find my little bottle of goodness, my hand grazes another used condom. I pull it off the floor and offer it to his lips. He doesn’t flinch as I pour the remains of some random dude into his mouth.
I kiss him again through the hole as we swap random sperm. I put the used condom on his fingers and suck his hands again until the condom breaks and we throw it to the floor. He whispers through the hole that he wants me to cum in his mouth. I politely explain that when I’m done I’m done. He wants it anyway. His mouth feels fucking amazing. This isn’t his first day at the rodeo. He sucks me dry and drains my balls and as I peek through the glory hole to give my final thanks, I realize it’s the hot, slight blonde dude who walked in right before me at the beginning of my night. I want to give him my number. I want to say come home with me. I don’t. I walk out of my stall and ramble into the night to go home and wash my feet. It’s just as well. If I give him my name and number, he’s just going to blame me for the gonorrhea next week.
